Jennifer Said:

what do you think ? ? ?

We Answered:

It sounds nice. I like the rhyme. :]

Now for the critique (look for ***):
How can I put myself on paper?

Make a whole page of me?

I’m not sure I can,

I don’t really like a lot of attention on me.

It may sound like I’m not selfish,

But I wouldn’t quite say that.

I’m an average sixteen year old girl,

Self conscious, immature, silly, sensitive and caring.
*** Bit too much on that last time. Try using less words or syllables.


I’m not sure what I want out of life.

I know what I have though:

A caring family; close, loving and strong;

New and old friends who are more than I could ask for;

A great school; the place where I grow and more than I deserve.
***Those last three lines were a bit iffy. I think it's the ";".

But I’m not sure where I’m headed in life.

I guess I’m very indecisive, never been good at making decisions.

I’m immature and my insecurities hold me back.

However, as I continue to grow I figure life out a little more

And how I want to live my life.

***Poems don't have to rhyme, but I do recommend keeping them consistent, so maybe put some rhyme in that last stanza to keep the flow.

I never want to be a soccer mom

Or an overbearing career woman.

I’m not out to save the world

But I will never dessert it.

I will never be a stereotypical Christian:

High-strung, know-it-all, intolerant

But it’s not in me to be a liberal.

Well I guess it’s safe to say I want to fall somewhere in the middle,

College educated, realistic, and a strong and faithful Christian.

***The flow is gone in that last stanza. No rhyme either. So I suggest fixing that up a bit.

But for now this is who I am,

A young girly sixteen year old

Who likes to dance around and goof off with her friends,

Who also gets tired around eleven like an old lady.

And watches movies in her pajamas while sipping on a cup of tea.

***You're not alone, haha.

Well I guess I did it!

I wrote a whole page about me.

I shared a few likes, dislikes, and insecurities.

One day I may look back at this and laugh

But this is me and here it is

To be shared with third period English.
***I don't think the last line should be part of the poem. I do like the last stanza though. It's cute.

Overall, nice job. ;] It's a cute poem. With a few fixes here and there, you can do better.

Jeffrey Said:

Something That Really P*sses Me Off...?

We Answered:

I kind of feel sorry for you as you are being stereotyped because of your color.

Just keep doing what you are doing and keep studying and make good grades.

I can tell you will make something of yourself.

Debra Said:

Can Someone Answer This...?

We Answered:

I do not ever categorize,and wish the whole world would and could stop. They are the ones who are ignorant, and what is so great about being white? Whites have many skeletons and embarrassments that
they should remember, though not by be judged by past eras and
beliefs. but they need to shut up, as all so called Americans should!

You, my friend, are a smart, intellectual person who will go places.
and do not try to understand why people do what they do or act
the way they do..,.because it will never make any sense. At least,
I do not believe it will! Good Luck, anyway!