Alberto Said:

can u name some electoral can running for more than 2 seats ln nov 10 midterm elections in NY state?

We Answered:

this is the best i can find you.

http://www.examiner.com/x-40567-NY-Elect…

good question, you made me have a good read.

Debra Said:

What do you think of the first chapter of my book?

We Answered:

I think, for 13, you have a lot of potential as a writer. While teen angst is not my usual subject, I enjoyed reading your descriptions.

Some of the things I noticed straight off were a lack of consistency in your verb tenses and a few punctuation errors, but they weren't overly obtrusive. I think you did well overall, and if you keep working at it (write as much as you can; read as much as you can) you have a good chance of becoming a great writer. Good luck!

Ross Said:

What do you think of the first chapter of my book?

We Answered:

I'm going to be very blunt with my critique, ok?

First of all, do not introduce all your characters like this. Introduce them randomly to your readers, so that when your reader meets the character, they can read about them.
Trust me on this, if you clump everyone together, your reader won't remember who ANYONE is.

Whereas, if you introduce them to the character when the character crops up in the plot, they will be able to associate the characters with their actions and thus, remember them. And as opposed to describing them the way you do, let this reveal itself to your readers. They aren't stupid, they'll pick up on what your characters idioyncracies are.

Next, use active sentences. I can't stress this enough. Your sentances at the moment are passive.
For instance, you say "You will be bowled over with her friendly personality" (actually, that should be 'by her personality'). But you're saying that something will happen. No, that's passive. To be active, you say "Her personality bowls over everyone she meets". This makes the reader feel more involved because the writing is active.

This is why people are complaining your piece is boring. Your sentences are too passive.

So look out for words like 'will', 'has' and 'was'."The sun was shining brilliantly". No, "the sun shone brilliantly." Make the reader feel involved, I can't stress it enough.

The rule is this: make sure that things are doing things, not having things happen to them. That's the key to an engaging story.

Vary your sentence structure, too. Make sure that things sound different. You wrote:
"I felt a bit edgy on how am I going to cope with my new school. I’m turning freshmen this year and this one bothers me."
Instead, vary it.
"I felt a bit edgy about how to cope with my new school. This is my freshman year, which is a scary thought." Or something along those lines. See how it wasn't the same "I did this", "this did that", "that did me" structure? That is another way to keep your audience engaged.

And adverbs - NO. Never use an adverb, use a strong verb. "The sun was shining brilliantly"? No, the sun sparkled.
Like, you don't run happpily, you frolic.

So yeah, that's just a basic overview of my opinions. Take from it what you will.