Pearl Said:

Help! I need someone to review my essay.?

We Answered:

first of all in the first paragraph don't use obstacles twice in the same sentence say something like "because of them". 2nd, in this sentence it should be brother not bother "For example, my brother got into some trouble in high school with some other boys and no one got into trouble except for my bother". 3rd its used not use in this sentence "Debra use to work with special education students at the middle school before she retired." 4th who is Debbie? "Debbie got into an accident about ten years ago". 5th who is they? "They both love that so much," in both of those make sure you clarify and introduce so to speak any of the people in your essay. don't forget to say who your talking about either.
6th this is just my opinion but the beginning of this phrase ever since "Ever since my brothers and I have moved out and started our own families" sounds awkward. 7th this sounds awkward also "Every since I could remember," plus its not right grammar its not every since. 8th this paragraph "Debbie got into an accident about ten years ago and she can’t have any more kids on her own so they decided to start accepting foster kids. They both love that so much, but it breaks their heart whenever one of the kids gets adopted or has to go back into the system. Ever since my brothers and I have moved out and started our own families, Debbie and Thad have been lonely so adding a new member to this family would be wonderful." should go after you talk about your son and before you say they will receive a lucky baby. it would flow better there i think personally. 9th don't say "my parents" you wrote the whole thing in third person so don't change to first person.

I hope this helps and i hope your parents get the baby. you will be in my prayers.

Virgil Said:

PLEASE ANSWER would you date me??? PLEASE ANSWER?

We Answered:

I love sushi = I do too, + 1 pt. for you
I love the beach= who doesn’t, +0 pt.
i am funny and nice= hope so, don’t want a grouch +1pt.
i am classy= I like classy, +1pt.
i am 15= I am 20, sorry -15pts.
i am 50% Italian 45% English and 5% German= I like mixed breeds lol, +1pt.
I want to become a Chef and go to Cooking institute of America= I like guys who can cook, +1pt.
I am a male= better be. +10pts
i am going into 9th grade= I am going to be a college senior, so -14pts. for you
i go to a private school= I went to a private school, +1pt for you
i like to play video games= what boy doesn’t, +0pts.
i like to play sports ONLY FOR FUN= hope so, +1pt.
i played 6 years of soccer in my city= I love soccor, +3pts.
i was in karate for about 1 year= nothing beats a little wax on, wax of routine, +1pt.
i am shy but when you get to know me i am a talker= I’m the same way, +1pt.
our family has no money issues (so were not poor were middle/high class)= riches or rags don’t pull me either way, +0pt
i am in all accelerated classes (compared to public school)= you push yourself in studies, I like that, so +1pt
i like to watch food network (cause of chef part ;) ) and i like to watch history channel and discovery channel= better than most stuff on TV, +1pt
I like Pop music= better than rock, but I don’t care for Pop either +0pt
i like lady gaga, britney spears, B.O.B, Black eyed peas, Train, Katy Perry, Dean Martin, Maddonna, P!NK, and Rihanna= not my faves, +0pt
I am a Christian-Baptist= I am too, +1pt.
I am a Conservative but i like the people who are according to my beliefs and stuff= I’m conservative too, +1pt.
I love to joke around i am not always serious but if i feel that its a time to b serious i am= that’s how I like it, +1pt
I have a dirtbike and i luv to go riding= great, so do I, +1pt.
i luv the ocean and beach= again, who doesn’t, +0pt
i love to go to nice restaraunts like Mortons steakhouse, flemmings, roys, top of the world in vegas, and the charcoal room= no idea what the food’s like but doesn’t sound like icky fast food so +1pt
But i am not picky in foods except i dislike hamburgers and cheeseburgers = I’m with you there, +1pt
i love to go to parties and love to host parties= who doesn’t, +0
my family on dads side are strong italians (also deeply routed in the mafia but that was my uncle and great uncle even though my dad knows some mafia ppl)= eh, irrelevant, +0pt.

Okay, so would I date you? Adding up all the points, I get +29 and -15 (for being 15) and -14 (for being a freshman)….which equal (drum roll)…:
*0*
Sorry bud. You sound great except for the age thing lol…