Jennie Said:

Can someone proof read this essay for me?

We Answered:

I was just going to point out corrections, but it is easier for me to copy and paste and make the changes. There were not a lot of changes, but here is the revised version:

I have recently been accepted to attend Universal Technical Institute in Orlando, Florida and my first day will be September 13, 2010. This has always been my long term goal. I have had a passion for the automotive industry since I first got my license. I made the decision to turn this passion and hobby into a career. I currently own two vehicle that I have modded for performance and appearance and I always get compliments on them. I take pride in the fact that I have done all of the work myself. It's a wonderful feeling to be able to completely change the appearance or performance of a automobile. I plan on attending UTI to get the experience that I need and then moving on to one of the major dealerships. It is great to know that even in today's economy that the automotive field will always be in demand. I'm completely confident in myself and know that I will not have any problems accomplishing this goal. I have a strong self-drive and eagerness to succeed, especially when it is something that I'm passionate about.


I hope this helped!

Myrtle Said:

How is my college essay?

We Answered:

Ok start but definitely needs some work. The essay was, quite frankly, boring. Admissions officers spend only a few minutes on every person's application so it is extremely important to capture their intention from the beginning. That said, do NOT begin by restating the prompt. It's very middle school. Instead, you might want to begin with the story about how you got into shape. Do not overgeneralize but rather choose a few anecdotes that you think are interesting and fit into their philosophy. Add some description, make it colorful. Your discussion of morals and ethics was pretty broad and a little vague. To make it more unique to your own life and experience, you might want to speak about a specific time or experience that exemplifies your morality. Finally, please, please get rid of the last paragraph and sentence. NEVER restate your academic accomplishment in the personal essay. The college will know all of this from your transcript anyway. It also sounds like you're bragging. Instead, like I said before, choose SPECIFIC examples that show your intellectual curiosity and love of learning. Don't forget about the "Artes" aspect of the "beauty of intellectual pursuits." Write and rewrite until you are completely satisfied; show the true you. The personal statement is one of the few areas of your application over which you hold some control. Have fun and good luck!

Jack Said:

I need help with my resume!!!?

We Answered:

i wuld say find a website for the format of a resume, it sounds pretty impressive to me!
http://www.rogers-resume-help-center.com…