Curtis Said:

Is it wrong to teach children about money from your own mistakes?

We Answered:

Teaching your children how to handle money and become financially responsible is a parent of parenting that is often neglected. I wish I'd had that kind of training when I was growing up. As a parent of adult children, I didn't do much better, we were too busy living from pay check to pay check.

The trick is to teach your children to not make money a god in their life but to handle it responsibly.

It sounds like the ballet is a real sticking point. Are there other areas where you can cut back to keep that in the budget? If your daughter really enjoys it then try to find a way to keep it. Take your daughter out on a date (lunch at McDonalds) just the two of you and ask her how she feels about ballet. If she's getting tired of it then perhaps there's something else she could do that would be fun and not cost quite as much.

There needs to be a little bit of money for fun, otherwise life gets too mundane and depressing.

Does your wife had dreams of the ballet lessons leading to something greater in the future for your daughter? Was ballet something she felt deprived of in her childhood? It just sounds like there's something behind her decided opinion about the ballet lessons.

Is is possible to discuss the ballet issue without an argument breaking out?

Perhaps you could "discuss" it in e-mails to each other rather than verbally. I know I can sometimes express myself better by writing it down than verbally. You could each have your own yahoo e-mail account and try to tdiscuss it that way.

Besides, it is my opinion that children need to be exposed to a lot of different things as they grow up which gives them different skills, expands their learning, and helps them to find out what they like. These experiences can lay the foundation for their future and could help lead them to a particular career.

It depends on your daughter's age as to what you would teach her about finances. A very young child would have several pots for their money. 10% of what a child gets should go to the church offering (if you attend church) or to a charity. 10% should go for a savings. From here you could add another 10% or divide the 10% savings in half so there's a short term and a long term savings goal perhaps with a picture of the item(s) being saved for, then what's left is for spending as she sees fit. When the spending money is gone, it's gone until she gets some more.

If she's older then definitely a savings account would be appropriate. But still keep the 10% for church or charity. I would also have her save up for something specific that she wants besides having money in her savings account. The item she worked and saved to get will be much more appreciated.

It seems to me that there is a mind set that's tied to being successful financially and that way of thinking should be taught as well. I'm talking about the way one regards money, such as seeing it as a tool, that there are boundaries to set and not to be crossed, and such. I'm trying to figure that part out still.)

As for your wife's attitude regarding the changes you've had to make perhaps you can have a discussion about that through e-mail. Find out what her expectations are or were. Let her know that once you're free and clear that circumstances will be better but that some of the changes may stay in place so you can then begin to save money and invest money for your future. (I know that when I get upset that quite often it is because I had an expectation that wasn't fulfilled or was shoved aside or something.)

If things are bad enough between the two of you perhaps you need to get some counseling.

By the way the link below might be helpful for your relationship with your wife.

I hope this was helpful.

Adam Said:

At what did you begin to teach your children about money? What age did you learn about money?

We Answered:

No, I do not think you are being harsh. There are many ways to teach children about money, and different families find success with different methods.

I believe teaching kids about money starts as soon as they are old enough to start asking for things. When my children were toddlers they learned that they did not get a treat or toy every time we went to a store.

Your method does seem a bit more structured than what I did. I wanted my kids to practice making their own decisions, I wanted them to make their own choices and mistakes. From kindergarten until they graduated from high school they each received an allowance; this allowance was to cover school lunches, snacks, entertainment, and clothes or supplies beyond the basics. If they packed their lunches at home, then they'd have enough to see a movie on the weekend. If they wanted a new computer game or a new pair of shoes, they could save their allowance for it. They didn't always like it; but learned to live within a budget. They both had savings accounts by the time they were 7 years old and by the time they were teenagers they knew how to read a bank statement. These lessons didn't totally prevent problems when my oldest daughter was first on her own; she made some very poor choices-but she learned from those mistakes, dug herself out of the mess she had made, and is doing very well now.

I bet your kids will learn that they can contribute to the family, and that is a great way to build true confidence. Don't be affraid to try different things, especially as they get older, allow them a little wiggle room to make their own decisions so they can learn to live with both good decisions and bad ones.

Ross Said:

What is a good age to start teaching children about money?

We Answered:

I think 5 is a good age... she will start to learn that she will be rewarded for hard work - and I think that it's a great way to avoid a spoiled-child. They will start to learn about these things in grades 1-2, so why not start now.

Beth Said:

How are you teaching your child about money and financial responsibility?

We Answered:

yes I think we are a good example. We don't go spend money on things we don't really need often and we pay our bills on time and we save money for things we want rather than using credit cards. We have discussions with them about how to manage money and budget and so on.

We give our boys an allowance for doing daily chores so that they will have a way to earn money and learn to manage it and save it. My twins are 15 and have both saved almost $1,000. each toward a car and they each have a savings account at the bank that they add to regularly as they save their allowance and money received on birthdays etc...

I also encouraged my twins who just started high school to take the elective class "Personal Finance" which they did and are both averaging an A in. In this class they learn to budget, save, invest, and also how to do taxes. One of them also chose to take Marketing and he has an A in that as well.

I honestly feel we are doing a good job teaching them about financial responsibility. My 12 yr old has almost $800. saved in his account and is very good at saving his money. My youngest is only 9 and he will be our challenge. As soon as he gets his allowance it starts burning a hole in his pocket LOL I have started putting his allowance in my room and holding it for him without mentioning it to him. If he doesn't think about the fact he has it, then he saves it better. He's going to be a work in progress.

Samantha Said:

Is it ever too late to teach our children about saving money?

We Answered:

Step1Find a bank where your child wants to bank. Consider online banks as well, as your child will probably be more comfortable with these institutions and more excited to save. Open their account(s) and name the 2 sections--the first should be "Long Term" and the second should be "Savings."
Step2Every time that a child receives money, no matter the amount, talk to them about breaking the money into thirds.
Step3The first third is to go into the account they label "Long Term." This is money that they will be saving for college or post-secondary life.
Step4The second third is to go into the account they label "Savings." This is the money that they will use for items that will require larger sums--perhaps a new bike or name brand clothing--anything that will require pooling money over time. Have them note what they paid for when they take money out of this account.
Step5The third amount is "Now" money. They can do whatever they wish with it. Spend it, save it--whatever they desire. Leave it totally up to them. That freedom will make the initial feeling of loss (of the first two-thirds of their money) feel less constricting.
Step6Have them keep track of all 3 amounts in their section of the Investment binder. This will help them see: that even small amounts are important as they grow into larger ones; that they are building towards their long-term future while taking care of short-term desires and today's "I need it" item; and that keeping track of the "Now" money spent will encourage your kids to see what they've spent over time. This can be a real eye opener. Just as seeing what they spent their "Savings" money on--they can later review the purchase and talk about whether it was worthwhile, in hindsight.

Being open about money will mean that your kids may ask you about your money and what you're doing with it. It's an opportunity to have discussions that outline what type of money responsibilities they will have when they are adults.

Rafael Said:

How Do You Teach Your Children About Money?

We Answered:

I knew a parent who had a great technique with his kid. He gave his kid an allowance every week, and gave the child two options - either he could go spend the money right away, or he could save it and earn interest (and the dad paid interest). That kid grew up to be a millionaire. I really like that idea and plan to use it when my son is older.

Gabriel Said:

Teaching Children About Money?

We Answered:

You forgot a very important part of money management -- how to earn/make money! What you can spend depends on how much you can make. Your Lesson 4 should come after this because what you want and what you can afford is very different. This is why so many kids today have credit problems. Kids need to learn how difficult it is to make money and then they will think twice about spending it on something they may or may not want.

Hope this helps.